After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. The 50 Funniest Cow Jokes Youd Ever Hear! "Has the blonde left yet? The redhead wished to be back home. Funny Dumb Blonde Joke About Mysterious Computer File, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, Clean Jokes For Adults That Are Actually Funny: 53+ Best +, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, Crashes Car Into A Gas Mart, Gets 1 Banana, Drives Away. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Get the quarterback!' One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. Then she called her boyfriend and asked: Why is the file asking me to read him?. After climate change has flooded the Earth, and the remnants of humanity live below the ocean, a woman tries to repair her broken relationship, in Pella Kgermans short film. I just cannot get rid of it." Mary: "Try some Cold-Doc 3. What do you call a brunette between two blondes? The first one replied, Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?, A blonde goes to a soda machine. Joke #748 There are three blondes on an island. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. The first says" I wish I was smart" so she turns into a red head and swims off the island. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, two to four years.. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. ", A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. These are the jokes listed 131 to 140. . Only then can she choose to become something authenticlike a depressed artist, a chain-smoking novelist, or a beret-wearing loafer who sits in coffee shops all day rambling about Hegel. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean. The blonde signs the letter THE BLONDE!!! ''Okay,'' replied the genie. Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, Okay, we'll give him one more try. Okay, where do you live? In a house you silly billy! the blonde replies. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. The blondes, all moved by the brunettes speech, start clapping. There was this blonde who needed money badly. Thats a great idea Ill use that! Thought Catalog: Dumb Blonde Jokes3. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. You copied Jims paper including his name., So this blonde got into a horrible accident but she got out of the car and was fine and was waiting for someone to come help. The manager told her there were no planes left so she would have to use a helicopter. Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. Queenofevil: this is too funny im cryijng laughing. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, "Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?". Problem solved. trapped? What do brunettes omit maximum approximately an extraordinary party? Reproduction and distribution of content, with or without modification, without written permission of Laugh Factory Inc., is prohibited. The dog didn't work. Olive!" The brunette throws a banana out the plane. So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?" The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Stop on by and have a laugh. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, Where? The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesnt serve blondes. 2 blondes walked into a bar The brunette ducked Reply Tgunn8571 . There was a blonde driving down the road one day. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, Shut upyoure next! o O o Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? It was discovered in 1773., A blonde student responds, Thank God I was born after 1773! He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldnt want the job because it was so boring. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. Six, please. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. So, if you have blonde friends who have a great sense of humor, you can politely use these jokes. Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. A: "Would you like fries with that? but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger", A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. April 24, 2023. Laugh Factory Inc., 8001 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046. Blondes Offended by Blonde Jokes IX. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. ''I miss my family, my friends and relatives. Jokes have been in existence for as long as I can remember. I like these jokes, they are really funny. A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. Jackson: "There's a blonde, brunette, and a redhead and they are about to get executed by a firing squad. 12. Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? "It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. Shell read it very slowly com-for-da-bull., A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. The brunette agreed and also turned blonde. 9. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back. Problem solved. In the fullness of time, we would understand that these uplifting strings of words are a force to be reckoned with. Laugh at 25 really funny dumb blonde jokes. They all decide that one person should get off because if they dont the rope will break and everyone will die. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. A redhead, a blond, and a brunette are on an airplane. What! The store manager said he couldnt, and got irritated when the blonde persisted. A blonde and a brunette were in a bar. It is also dubbed "looks Vs brains," owing to the common misconception that all brunettes are more intelligent but less attractive than blondes. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only), 10 Best Free Apps for Entrepreneurs and Startups. Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes. Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says lather, rinse, repeat., Two blondes fell down a hole. Funny Blonde Jokes by Stephen on January 20, 2013 A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. Your finger is broken., May I take your order? the blonde waitress asked. She was back home with her family. "N," she answered. ''I hate it here. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The other said, Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap. Mam, your were talking on your mobile while you were driving. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". A man walked by and he had dandruff. In about thirty minutes, the dizziness, headaches, and confusion will begin. Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. A: They dont have to worry about blowing their brains out. Because theyre desperately trying to hold in a thought.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); 5. So the Brown and Brunette came back. He rubs it and two blonde genies come out. It all started when blonde French courtesan Rosalie Duthe was satirized for her habit of pausing for too long before speaking (which made her appear dumb). The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. What do you name a handsome guy with a brunette? "See that stick over there? "Has the blonde left yet?" What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? I memorized all the state capitals." $200 he replied. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. The blonde asks the clerk, How in the world do you know I am a blonde? The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,Thats not a TV, its a microwave!. Well, the blonde is angry, she opens her purse to take out the gun, but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. The pizza guy asked if she wants it cut into six or twelve pieces. 8. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. The Brunette took food in case she gets hungry. Cant you bring the price down? the blonde. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, hed give her $50. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. While jokes about blondes may seem . She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. They have just lost their bull. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, Ive had it up to here with these blonde jokes. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. A. Brown-bagging it. Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, Knock on wood Im not as stupid as the other two! She knocked the table. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house? The man replied, She should. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms". The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. A hostage.3. The bartender says, Ah, youre blond too. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. By signing up, you agree to our User Agreement and Privacy Policy & Cookie Statement. Q. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? His friend looked at him and asked, What in the hell happened to you? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. Every 10 miles she checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, she said it was a blast. 7. They had great seats right behind their teams bench. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Yes, dear, replied her mother, pleased that the subject had With her hair still dry, she said to herself, Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub? She stood there, just thinking about it. We thought that this would be a Sunday Funday, but our ill-preparedness has turned this into quite the opposite of a Sunday Funday., The redhead sighs and says, Yeah, but isnt it funnier if a genie pops out? The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Mar 7, 2014 - Explore Maggie Dwyer's board "Brunette Jokes " on Pinterest. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. Poof! Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" When the get out the plane the see a little girl crying they ask why she says, " An apple fell and killed my cat.". Q. What's a brunette's mating call? Cop: Do you know where you were going? The salon lady heard the headphones saying breath in, now breath out repeatedly. ""Yes," replies the brunette. I want to go home, too!!'' The women need to buy another, but only have $500. Im having a heart attack, cries the woman. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? ", asked the brunette, 30. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. The police officer stops a Blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely to see her license. Dont you see I have blue-tooth? strengthen connections that will last a lifetime. I could never eat twelve pieces., A blond went to the dentist. All rights reserved. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. The manager said, I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!. "You're finished already?" Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed Oh my gosh! Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy. What do you name occurring a blind date with a brunette? "Now for your third wish." Invisible. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! there were women a blonde a brunette and a red head they were walkin throuh the desert and all a sudden a genie popped up and said i will grant you each one wish for each of you for the brunette it was for her to be smart she became a red head the redhead said for her to be smarter then her she became a brunette and then the blonde said for her to be smarter then both of them she became a man We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. Then why not share them with your friends?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); Then check out these Outrageous Little Johnny Jokes or 15 Funniest Knock Knock Jokes. Copyright Notice: This website is protected by U.S. and International copyright laws. The second says " I wish I was smarter than her" so she turns into a brunette and swims away. My house is on fire! the blonde replies. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. So the blonde and the brunette are now both walking down the railroad tracks saying,"21, 21, 21"A train comes and the brunette jumps off the tracks as the blonde gets hit. Over the years, these jokes have evolved to a "brunette Vs blonde" battle. The doctor says, Youre not really a brunette are you? She says, No, I dyed my hair. "I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Why can't a blonde get a drivers license? Be it through shared laughter or simply by viewing the delight on the faces of others, jokes truly bring people together. 3 blondes are lost in the desert Long They come across a river that they have to get over, but it's swarming with crocodiles. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. '", A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. Whats every blondes dream in life? She takes the gun and puts it to her head. What I Think Will Happen if I Go to a Bar and Order a Whiskey Neat. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. "I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!" Q: Why did the blonde stare at a carton of orange juice for 3 hours? She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. So he makes his wishes There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Blonde #2: Well you better hurry up and try harder, because its starting to rain and the top is down! No one can decide who should go. She turned into a blonde man. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, Ill contact you to drive out after me and haul it home. The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. What do the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? The teacher went through the test and said, I know you cheated. The boyfriend yells, No, honey, dont do it., The blonde replies, Shut up, youre next., The second one said, But were on the 13th floor!, The first one screamed back, This is no time to be superstitious.. I'm not sure what they did but they messed up big time. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_10',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. These are funny jokes with blondes! She was desperately trying to make up her mind. A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert. A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. I just want to go home." COLUMBUS, Ohio - The "dumb blonde" stereotype is simply wrong, according to a new national study of young baby boomers. Then the other one, "Help!! Today, we brought insufficient water and no map, and its a hundred and ten degrees out here. My informant is Jackson, a 19-year-old male student at USC. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. As I have found you here, I will grant each of you one wish." The first blonde wished she was an excellent swimmer. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. How much will you charge? The blonde said, How about 50 dollars? The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly? She leaned over the counter and said, Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.. "I want you to beat me half to death with it. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Mary: "Wow, that is some cold you have, Liz." Liz: "Tell me about it. Um, just a minute, if you please, he murmured. She then decides to kidnap a little boy. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. The doctor asked, What happened to your ear? The blonde replied, I was ironing and the phone rang. The lady said Whatever and did her work. The potato goes in the FRONT of your trunks, not the back!! Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. She gets all the way to the 99th step before she laughs. Hence, we are often presented with two choices: forcefully set aside time or find a less tasking substitute. Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!" if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_19',622,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If you did not choose one of the above types of jokes, why not check out some funny math jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms? She thought for a while. They are short and to the point, so you will love them. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Thers a Blonde at a computer trying to play a game and it says "press any key to begin" and shes looking at the computer trying to find the any key. And off she went. A blonde was driving down a hi. Have you seen all jokes? They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. You will sure find them funny, or were not Humoropedia.com. Take all the debris you want. And with that, he left. Or maybe you are in the mood for these really smart calculus jokes? As great as the above sound, they take time and effort. But magically changing reality on a whim would subvert our ability to take responsibility for our actions and would be antithetical to human existence. She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Thats too expensive! The first blonde takes the radio and says, If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music., The second blonde decides to take a wheel, In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled., The third blonde takes the car door, In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!. To revisit this article, select My Account, thenView saved stories, To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories. Without further ado, here are some of the funniest blonde jokes youd hear today! We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about blondes. I'm like, hello? The New Yorker may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. A. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? She copied his whole test page by page. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. Blondes Answering Questions V. Blondes Getting Medical Help VI. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv." The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv." Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes." Submit your best content, jokes, photos, or videos to become an exclusive Laugh Factory member and have your content shared on our website. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00. The blond went back to her car and called her friend to talk about many things. finally come up and she wouldnt have to explain it. I wish I could go home too." 29. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. Vietnam Memorial site filled with poetry, humor, even a kids category. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. She was standing on the porch." Become the most popular person at your school, win $10,000 in cash and get a trip to Hollywood. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde #1: I cant seem to get this door unlocked! It is too hot and boring. A: Because it said concentrate. There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. In this video, Emo Charlie performs dumb blonde jokes in the most hilarious manner possible. A young man presents his fiancee to his parent. Their moms taught them never to speak to strangers. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. A blonde is putting together a puzzle. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari.". Get the quarterback! Im like, hello? More jokes about: blonde. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as hes dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, Daddy! How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. She was back home. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, Excuse me, ladies, Id like to see your fishing licenses.. One simple question stood between her and the 1.000 prize. How do we get there? the operator asks fustratedly. The third one says " I wish I was smarter than both of them" so she turns into a man and walks on the bridge. The next day she goes to collect the money from under the pear tree. The words big. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. How much will you charge?" And the blondes wander and wander, eternally condemned to subsist on free Auntie Annes samples, an occasional Cinnabon, and the promise of cute tie-dyed linen popover shirts at the Gap for thirty-five per cent off. !" . The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back. The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. The father-in-law says: Rex.! There are three blondes who are on a road trip. Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs? So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands. frustrated? The study of 10,878 Americans found that white women who said their natural hair color was blonde had an average IQ score within 3 points of brunettes and those with red or black hair. How do you confuse a blonde? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?A: She can't find the eleven. The bartender says, Hair dye? So the blind man takes off his hat. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, What do you think youre doing? There's something about a sexy woman telling a joke that just makes it, well, funny. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. 9. Your ticket isnt for first class. When she gets there, she finds the money along with a letter, it said: Thanks for returning my son. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, PULL OVER!, NO! the blonde yelled back, ITS A SCARF!, Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? hearing this the blondes started clapping A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. A: Gifted! She stuck her head out and said, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesnt serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The genie says he will grant them one wish each. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. Whats up? he says. The genie waved his arms replied, "You now have 1 beautiful house, and all the blondes in the world have two houses.".